Self-Love: Using the 5 Love Languages to Love Yourself

The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman is a game changer when it comes to relationships and learning how to communicate with your partner. It has easily help me figure out my love language and what I need from my significant other to feel loved.  If you haven’t read the book here are the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Act of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch.  In his book, Dr. Chapman breaks down each love language and gives examples of how to learn to speak to your partner in their love language. There is also a quiz you can take to discover what your own love language is. Knowing my love language and understanding how love is communicated to me got me thinking, what if I used my own love language to show myself, love. How genus right?!?! Self-love is the best love and learning how to love yourself takes time, but when you have a road map to love it make things a little easier. Let’s jump into to these love languages and some ideas on how to get the self-love juices flowing.

When I took the quiz, I found my primary love language is Quality time, and my secondary love language is Physical Touch. Knowing my love language and understanding how love is communicated to me got me thinking, what if I used my own love language to show myself, love. How genus right?!?! Self-love is the best love and learning how to love yourself takes time, but when you have a road map to love it make things a little easier. Let’s jump into to these love languages and some ideas on how to get the self-love juices flowing.

Words of Affirmation

WWords of Affirmation are compliments and words of encouragement. If this is your love language, I will encourage you to pay close attention to your self-talk. When you are having a bad day or going through a rough time are you being an encouragement to yourself. Or are you using negative self-talk and diminishing what you may have accomplished even though a mistake has happened. If so let’s start by changing that now, began by developing positive affirmation about yourself and start saying them daily. You can start slow by looking at one area you want to improve and work from there. Look in the mirror before you walk out the door and give yourself a compliment. Make sure you are not putting yourself down and be your own encourages. Life is hard daily don’t be one of the ones making it harder. 

Create Loving Affirmations: Write them down and place them somewhere visible to see them daily. Record yourself saying your affirmations and listen to them in the car. 

Practice Positive Self Talk:  Be your own best friend. Be aware and check the negative voice in your head

Acts of Service

When acts of service are your love language, you take action over words. You need your significant other to practice what they preach. When it comes to self-love, you have to practice what you preach daily. Keep up with your goals and make strides in completing them. Consistency is the key. If you want to save money, create a plan and put the program into action. Looking to lose weight, pick healthy meal options, meal plan, create a workout schedule.  Keep up with your health. Don’t put yourself last, make yourself a priority. 

Keep Annually Appointments: Go to the Dr. as required, try therapy to keep up mental health if needed.

Organize and cook: Keep the house clean, Organize, and Cook yourself your favorite meal.

Goal/ Finical Planning: Write down your goals and create a plan

Receiving Gifts

Do you love to receive gifts? When your special someone picks up flowers for you or your favorite meal, you felt warm and loved inside. Maybe your Love language is receiving gifts, but how can you use this to make Yourself feel special or loved. Simple, never wait for someone to do it for you. Gift yourself the bouquet of flower or the boots at Marshall’s. Take it a step further and give yourself something that will add quality to your life. A personal trainer or a class that you wanted to take. There are many ways to shower yourself with gifts and show yourself love in the process. Make sure that your budget allows you to do something for yourself, even if it’s just going to your favorite coffee shop once a week. 

Give yourself a gift:  Flowers, Shoes, Improving the quality of life (invest in self)

Scribe to monthly subscription box: These are great, you can pay a low monthly fee and get gifts monthly.

Quality time

Quality time is my primary love language, and genuine quality time make me feel warm and gooey on the inside. I know what to request from my significant other when I am feeling like my love meter is getting low. I also know when my self-love meter is running on low, and I need to spend some time myself.  I do this by scheduling time, shutting off my cell phone and focusing on just me. I meditate, read a book, or just give my body the rest that it may need. Focusing on my inner workings and filling my own love cup. I also make sure that I don’t over prioritize others in my schedule and give myself time to decompress every night. You can do the same. Go on a spa day alone, or to dinner at your favorite restaurant. Spend some time going on a hike or discover something new in your town alone. Turn the music up, grab your favorite snack and dance around the house in your birthday suit. If you enjoy cleaning maybe make time to do that uninterrupted. Mostly everything you enjoy doing with someone else, you can enjoy doing it by yourself. Try giving yourself some quality time to love on you and see how that makes you feel. 

Spending time with self: Meditation, reading a book, journal writing, taking yourself to dinner, etc…

Prioritize self: Don’t overbook your schedule, Take time daily to decompress, set a sleep schedule to get a good night’s rest.

Physical Touch

Physical touch is my second love language. I love hugs, holding hands, and snuggling underneath a blanket, but when it comes to self-love, we have to re-imagine this love language. I want you to think of physically making your body feel good. I have started a practice of stretching before I get out of the bed. You can use physical touch by practicing healthy meal choices, going to get a massage, and practice yoga. Wake up and give yourself a hug. Find a soft comfy blanket and wrap yourself in its daily to feel warm and gooey on the inside. Touch your soul by clearing your mind and meditating. Physically making your body strong and healthy showing it loves daily.  

Physically making your body better: Healthy eating, exercise, yoga, meditation

Spa Dates: Massages, Facials, Spa Days

The more you work on learning how to love yourself the easier it will be to teach someone how to love you.  In the book, Dr. Chapman give couples the advice to ask their partner on a scale to 0-10 how full is their love tank. So ask yourself how full your love tank is. If you are running empty, go make some time right now to go practice some self-love. Take the time out at the end of each day or week reflect on how full your self-love tank is. Remember you can’t love anybody else if you don’t love yourself first.