Quality over Quantity: 4 keys to Quality time

Quality time is important in all relationships. With my love language being quality time, I have learned how to communicate my need for quality time more effectively in my relationships. But, this was not always the case. When I was in my twenties my need for this time looked more like being clingy. I was always asking for more time because that connection that is created during quality time was not being fulfilled. With maturing comes growth and now I can define what quality time looks like for me.

Picture this, your significant other says, Hey Hun, I really want us to spend some quality time together. How about we meet up and make it happen.” You agree, but during this time your phones are ringing. One of you takes a phone call that could have waited until a later time. And neither one of you is giving your undivided attention to one another. This is not quality time. Quality time is time spent in giving another person one’s undivided attention in order to strengthen a relationship, So, today I want to share some characteristics of what quality time should look like in a relationship.

UNINTERRUPTED TIME

Sometimes in life, we really need to just unplug from the world and give our relationship some uninterrupted time. Imagine trying to spend quality time with your partner and always being interrupted by a text message or a phone call. How is that making your significant other feel? It’s not really quality time between the two of you when one of you is giving something else your attention. Try going on a date and leaving your phones in the car. If you are Netflix and chilling, put your phones on silent and leave them in the bedroom.  You will be surprised how your relationship may develop in a different way. You began to make a different type of connection and start understanding your partner in a different way.

MAKING A CONNECTION

The best thing about quality time is the connection that can be discovered and made. My boyfriend and I have not only learned so much about each other throughout the normal development of our relationship but also in those uninterrupted moments that we set aside. It all started with a UNO game. We love playing cards but needed to find a way to put a twist on it besides taking shots. Now, we play for questions. Every time you lose a hand, your partner gets to ask you a question of their choice. When you began to google things you will be surprised at what you find. There are board games, card games, questionnaires that you can use to spark up a conversation. While using quality time to have deep conversations is good, sometimes you have to change it up and have some fun. Mix it up a little bit, do something you both like or take turns and use the time to discover something your partner is into.

MAKE IT FUN

I believe a magical connection happens when two people are doing something they enjoy together. There is laughter, joking, talking and a connection that is growing between the two of you.  Make quality time fun for both of you. Participate in activities that you both enjoy, but also be willing to try an activity that only one partner has an interest in. Don’t be afraid to step out of the box. While I’m not the most athletic person, I did try playing handball with my boyfriend last summer. It was hilarious but I did learn a lot about his hobby. I also, learned how to play dominoes and kicked his butt a few times, let’s call it beginners luck. Think about what you and your partner might love doing together, or a hobby that your significant other likes and can teach you a little about.

Quality over Quantity 

It’s the quality of the time you spend with your partner over the number of times.  I work two jobs outside of blogging, so sometimes time can be limited. Because this is the case I make sure that the characteristics listed above are a part of quality time in my relationship. This way if genuine quality time happens with large gaps, your partner love tank stays full longer.  This helps your partner feel loved and helps them go longer periods of time without that face to face quality time. If you can’t meet up with your boyfriend or girlfriend face to face, try an uninterrupted phone conversation. Practice active listening and take interest in what happened in your partners’ day. Don’t multi-task during this time, or just make the phone call while watching your favorite show. Schedule an uninterrupted phone conversation with no distractions.

Understand that quality time is needed in your relationship, especially if you are dating someone who love language is quality time.  So make the effort, schedule the time and began to connect with your significant other on another level. Your relationship needs it.